A few years ago, I was a wreck.
That is not a figure of speech. It is exactly what I was. A month and a half in total darkness at my mum's, unable to get up. At 47.
Before that: boss of 3 companies in Belgium and 2 in Morocco. 25 years of giving everything - to my clients, to my teams, to my projects. A box of cigarillos a day. A flask of coffee in the morning. Working until 1 or 2 in the morning. A bottle of wine and a cigar to try to sleep.
“I was squeezing myself into a mould that wasn't mine.”
The red light that changed everything
I discovered my first burnout in a way I will never forget.
An ordinary morning. A red light. Unable to get into first gear. The light turns green. Then red. Then green again. Three times. A woman gets out of her car behind me: “Sir, is something wrong?”
“For an IT specialist - it was a brain bug.”
I was 38. My father had just died. And at the start of January, I had lost 81% of my turnover. The elastic had snapped.
A psychiatrist had warned me: “Either you listen to me, or you do it your own way. But if you do it your own way, we will meet again.”
I did it my own way. He was right. I did it again - deeper, more brutally - nine years later.
The elastic stretching, stretching, stretching...
Burnout is not an event. It is a process.
We’re stretching the elastic. For a long time. Too long. When the need to adapt becomes increasingly important in relation to your intrinsic values - the elastic stretches, stretches, stretches. And at a certain point, the body acts as a safety mechanism, and the elastic snaps.
It is like a circuit breaker that trips to keep you safe - to spare you much worse damage. We do the splits between our personal values and the mask we wear. We drift apart, and apart, and apart - until breaking point.
And the progression through burnout is not linear. There are stages where you recover - and relapse. And when you sink again, you sink deeper than the time before.
The room in the dark
At the age of 47, my second bout of burnout knocked me for six for good.
A month and a half in my room, in total darkness, at my mum's. Alone with my thoughts. You are shut in behind a 70 cm wall. You see no solution.
“I was a wreck. I was dead.”
And yet. It was there, in that moment of total collapse, that something began to change. Not all at once. Not by magic.
A pair of trainers - the cheapest thing there is
Rebuilding does not begin with a big decision. It begins with a small step.
Literally.
I put on a pair of trainers - the cheapest thing there is. And I started walking. 5 km. Then 10. Then 32 km a day for 4 days.
The Marche Mesa - 104 km in all. On my own. To find myself again.
“It was my very own Camino de Santiago.”
It wasn’t a sporting achievement. It was proof that I could listen to myself. Set my own limits. And not exceed them. After years of ignoring all the signals my body was sending me, it was revolutionary.
“Like the Phoenix, we are reborn.”
The transformation - step by step
From that rebuilding, here is what concretely emerged:
- 42 kg lost - from 132 kg to 90 kg
- Gave up smoking - a box of cigarillos a day for years
- Gave up alcohol
- Triathlon and running as new disciplines, and taking part in a marathon
- Disability sports liaison officer for the Belgian Triathlon League
- Two and a half years working in youth support during the COVID pandemic
- A professional NLP coach certification
None of these elements is an end in itself. They are living proof of a method. My own. Developed through hardship, tested on myself.
“I worked to earn a living. And I spent what I had earned to get my health back. That notion is worth thinking about.”
What I’ve learnt about transformation
Burnout does not only happen to employees. It also affects the self-employed, SME owners and atypical profiles who give everything - without ever listening to themselves.
“We are only responsible for what we accept.”
The real question is not “how do I avoid burnout?” but “am I living in line with my values?”. Because that is where everything is decided. Between who we deeply are and what we do every day.
And when that gap becomes too wide - the elastic snaps.
Today, I support SME owners and leaders who, like me, have lost themselves in day-to-day operations. Those who have forgotten why they started. Those who keep going - but no longer really know why.
Because you cannot transform a company without transforming its leaders.
I talk about it on the podcast “50 ans, nouvel élan” (“50 years, new momentum”)
I was lucky enough to be invited by Dr Sandra Wantiez, a sports doctor, onto her podcast “50 ans, nouvel élan”.
I tell it all there, unfiltered - the signals I ignored, the two burnouts, the room in the dark, the Marche Mesa, the physical transformation, the coaching, and the new momentum that has stayed with me since.
This is not a polished success story. It is a real story, with its scars and its light.
🎙️ Listen to or watch the episode
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And you?
If you recognise yourself in some of these signals - the tiredness that will not go away, the pressure that will not let up, the feeling that you no longer know why you do what you do - know that it is not inevitable.
Change is possible. At any age. From any starting point.
“Burnout is not an end. It is a beginning.”
That is exactly why Un Autre Moi exists: to support you, at your own pace, in your own transformation.
📩 Would you like to know more? Get in touch, my details are below.
Take care of yourself.
Régis.