We are hearing more and more - almost on a daily basis - about coaching and burnout. Unfortunately, these terms are very often used inappropriately. What exactly are we talking about when we talk about coaching and burnout? Can coaching be a solution in the fight against professional or family-related burnout?
What is coaching? What is a coach?
Coaching can be defined as the art of helping a person or an organisation to gain a better understanding of themselves so that they can find their own solutions.
The profession of coaching is not currently regulated; consequently, the term “coach” is, unfortunately, very often misused and appropriated by many untrained individuals who practise coaching. In contrast, a professional coach has completed a certified training programme and continues to undergo training and supervision at a certified school.
A professional coach is someone who listens without judgement. They do not advise, train or influence. They are neither a mentor nor a therapist, and do not offer any miracle solutions. They ask questions, they stimulate, they challenge. Through various tools and exercises, they guide their client to ask themselves the right questions, to become aware of their own resources - which are very often overlooked - and to acquire new skills. They help their client to transform their obstacles, limiting beliefs and behaviours into strengths. The coach supports the coachee in developing their full potential so that they can achieve their goal(s) in a way that is ecological, that is, without harm to themselves or their loved ones, whilst remaining true to their values.
A coach is not a healthcare professional;
a coach is a personal development professional.
Consequently, they cannot make any diagnosis whatsoever and must therefore refer the client to a qualified doctor or clinical psychologist if the client exhibits alarming symptoms (depression, burnout, trauma, mental health issues, addiction, etc.). Coaching therefore has no therapeutic aim but is nevertheless highly effective in supporting such a process. It proves to be an excellent complement to help a person cope better with treatment or bring about a behavioural change that is beneficial to their health.
There are two main types of coaching: life coaching and business coaching.
Life coaching focuses on an individual’s personal development in their private, relational and professional lives, enabling them to realise their full potential and equip themselves to make the most of it.
Business coaching, on the other hand, is linked to the world of work. It focuses much more on supporting employees, teams and managers in both small and large organisations to achieve their objectives, whilst ensuring the well-being and work-life balance of all those involved.
What is NLP, or Neuro-Linguistic Programming?
NLP is a methodology that enables us to analyse our learned behaviours (our “internal software”) and, where necessary, to reprogramme them. It enables us to understand our behaviours, mechanisms and emotions in situations of failure or success, so that we can, if necessary, readjust the various “programmes” that do not bring us satisfaction.
Programming.
Whether we like it or not, we are all “programmed” by our environment, our living conditions, our family, our upbringing, our loved ones, our culture, our experiences, and our beliefs - whether formed by ourselves or passed down from generation to generation…. Once established, these habits are like programmes. What has been “programmed” can, if we so wish, be “deprogrammed” in order to be “reprogrammed”.
Neuro.
The brain, our central computer, filters and processes every piece of information it receives through its millions of neurons. This information then becomes thought processes (conscious or unconscious) - patterns that enable the individual to make choices and/or cope with difficulties.
Linguistics.
Our thoughts can be conveyed through both verbal and non-verbal language. Our thoughts shape our language and, conversely, our language shapes our thoughts. This is why, if I say the following sentence to you: “Don’t think of a white horse, think of a black horse”, your brain will automatically visualise a white horse first!
What are the origins and development of NLP?
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed in the 1970s in the United States, originally by John Grinder and Richard Bandler. It was subsequently developed by numerous other contributors, including Robert Dilts.
NLP has since proven its worth and is used by a great many coaches, the most famous of whom - and the undisputed master - is Anthony Robbins. He has coached numerous public figures and world leaders, including Nelson Mandela, Bill Clinton, Anthony Hopkins, Oprah Winfrey, Serena Williams, André Agassi and many others….
What is burnout?
According to Wikipedia, “Burnout combines profound fatigue, a loss of interest in work or family life, and a sense of failure and incompetence. Burnout is considered to be the result of chronic work- or family-related stress (for example, linked to an excessive workload): the individual, unable to cope with the adaptive demands of their work or family environment, sees their energy, motivation and self-esteem decline. ”, and as I explained, drawing on my own experiences, on RTBF’s programme La vie du bon côté.
Although burnout is very often associated with an excessive workload or a toxic environment, fortunately not everyone who faces such circumstances actually suffers from burnout. So how does this come about?
Burnout is the interplay between a person’s identity and their environment.
Every situation is unique, and one person’s burnout is not the same as another’s. It is, however, always a matter of a personality interacting with a particular context. To illustrate my point, I’m going to use my own story. What caused me to relapse when I was fully aware of the mechanisms of burnout, yet blindly ignored its various stages - resulting, for the second time, in me hitting rock bottom?
As explained earlier, we are conditioned and shaped by our history, our life experiences, our upbringing, our culture, our experiences and our beliefs… All of this defines our unique identity and personality.
During my childhood, I didn’t feel particularly loved by my dad, the village schoolteacher, for whom I was supposed to be a role model in the eyes of the other pupils. Once I entered the world of work, having constantly heard in my youth, “You can do better!”, I became increasingly perfectionist and developed the belief: “If you hope to gain your father’s recognition and love, you must always say yes; you must work, work hard and do better, again and again”… This belief was further reinforced by the beliefs my father himself had inherited from my grandfather regarding the value of work and the unconditional help one ought to give to others. These various beliefs and values would come to define part of my identity and my personality.
So, like a seed sown and nurtured in fertile soil, when I found myself in an environment where I lacked recognition and was asked for help, my automatic response kicked in, and I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t say no to anything I was asked to do; I worked and worked and worked until the inevitable collapse, as explained in more detail in the previously published article, Burnout: an entrepreneur’s story.
NLP coaching to prevent burnout and avoid a relapse.
Looking back at this situation, I’d understood the general mechanisms of burnout, but I hadn’t understood my own personal mechanisms, which were very closely linked to my beliefs and life experiences. Consequently, when my personality was stimulated by a favourable context and environment, I was unable to avoid exhaustion.
During my professional coaching certification course, the tools of neuro-linguistic programming enabled me to identify and understand the unconscious mechanisms responsible for my burnout. I was then able to modify and reprogram them so that such a situation would never happen again.
NLP coaching therefore enables the coachee to regain control of their “autopilot”. By applying and using mindfulness tools, they give themselves the opportunity to have greater freedom and choice. They can thus avoid paths that might cause them problems in the future (prevention), or that would have caused them problems in the past (preventing a relapse).
This prevention of burnout and this prevention of relapse can be practised in both life coaching and business coaching.
Burnout is not the only area in which NLP coaching can be beneficial.
NLP coaching is particularly well-suited to issues relating to communication, learning and supporting change through the use of Robert Dilts’ 7 logical levels:
- the environment, where?
- behaviour, what?
- capabilities, how?
- beliefs and values, why?
- identity, who am I?
- mission, what for?
- connection(s) with others, for whom?
All change begins with taking action.
You’re tired of feeling exhausted and at odds with your values. You’re overwhelmed, irritable and can no longer cope with everything; you want to avoid burnout, or don’t want to slip back into it. Take action and get in touch with me now for a coaching session.
Whether you’d like to find out more about coaching, set and achieve goals that have long seemed out of reach, or are simply interested in personal development or tackling burnout - whether in your personal life or at work - I invite you to:
- to visit the coaching page, where you’ll find plenty of answers to the questions you might be asking yourself...
- Let’s discuss it - get in touch with me now.