Fourteen months ago, I hit rock bottom - there was just too much pressure. It was all just too much… Because I’d forgotten about myself, set myself no limits, and failed to listen to and respect my body, I was no good for anything; I was nothing more than a human wreck. It felt like I was a lemon that had been squeezed dry and then thrown away. I’d given too much… more than I could possibly give! No energy left, nothingness, an abysmal void, dark thoughts….
Walking has gradually allowed me to recharge my batteries and rebuild myself. I walk on my own two or three times a week (around 10-15 km) and at the weekend, I enjoy taking part with my partner (around 10 km), my children (around 5 km) or more enthusiastic friends (around 15-20 km) on Adeps walks, federal walks and even, sometimes, food-themed walks where the social and epicurean aspect is more important than the physical activity. In fact, it was during the gourmet walk from Saint-Monon to Nassogne that I first learnt about MESA, just three days before the event was due to take place.
The European Walk of Remembrance and Friendship.
This walk has been organised in the Province of Luxembourg by the Belgian Ministry of Defence since 1966. It is a large-scale, international, sporting and convivial event that brings together more than 10,000 walkers of all ages - both civilians and military personnel - from all corners of the world, who walk together along the most beautiful trails of the Ardennes, over one or more stages of 8, 16, 24 or 32 km …
Despite its scale, I’d never heard of the MESA, but when it was explained to me what it was - and encouraged by my partner, whom I’d like to thank here for allowing me to live out our dreams - I was very keen to take part. Yet it seemed out of reach, impossible.
So I decided to take part in this wonderful adventure - a way for me to take stock after 14 months of recovery, to find out where I stand physically - given that I never walk more than 20 km in a single session - and mentally, to find out if I’m capable of doing things again, of respecting myself, of listening to my heart and my body!
Never mind if I don’t make it to the end - as Pierre de Coubertin said, isn’t the important thing simply to take part?
Stage 1: Arlon
I arrive in Arlon, feeling motivated; the atmosphere is incredible. I decide to sign up for the 32 km. I’ve never walked 32 km before; my longest walks have been no more than 20 km. The stages are looped, and part of the loop is shared by the different distances (8, 16, 24, 32 km). I feel good; I’m in good shape; I cover the first 16 km without any trouble. On the section shared by the 24 and 32 km routes, there are far fewer walkers; groups of soldiers in combat fatigues pass me by, cheering me on. I complete the 32 km in 6 hours and 4 minutes: Pure joy! Tired, but pure joy! I’ve just walked 32 km for the very first time! I head home, have a rest, share my feelings with my partner; I feel great, and I tell her I intend to take part in the second stage.
Stage 2: Martelange
Buoyed by my success on the first stage, and feeling mentally and physically fit, I decide to sign up for the 32-kilometre loop. My body hasn’t recovered from the energy expenditure of the first stage; it was sending me signals. I’m in good spirits, but my feet are aching; it’s true that I’ve got a few blisters and a slight niggle in my knee. I listen to my body, scale back my ambitions, and at the 32 km junction I take the 24 km loop, which I complete in 5 hours 32 minutes. I am happy; I am tired, of course, but I have never felt so good mentally. That evening, I don’t wait to be asked twice - I sleep like a baby and dream that I can complete all four days…
Stage 3: Bastogne
The third stage is the toughest. I opt for the 24km loop. The physical exhaustion from the previous two stages is really taking its toll. There are few people on the loop, and I walk many kilometres on my own. My feet are hurting, and I listen to my body; I have to slow down and ease off the pace so as not to tire myself out any further. I start to doubt myself… That’s when I think back on the journey I’ve made over the past 14 months, since my dramatic fall. My inner voice speaks to me: “Régis, look at what you’re doing; look at how far you’ve come. The few kilometres separating you from Bastogne are nothing compared to what you’ve been through. If you’ve managed to bounce back and climb back up everything you’ve climbed, you can see the MESA through to the end.” I complete the 24 km stage in 5 hours and 11 minutes. What an atmosphere at the Mardasson Memorial - what a joy! I know the hardest part is behind me… Both in this stage walk and on the path to my recovery.
Final stage: Saint-Hubert
I’m really fired up. I arrive late in Saint-Hubert and must be one of the last to register at the start. “What distance are you signing up for, sir?” A moment’s thought… Covering over 100 km in 4 days - wouldn’t that be nice? Without hesitation, I reply, “24!” I’m feeling good. I’m tired, but it’s a healthy kind of tiredness. Having set off late, I come across very few people, so I take the opportunity to reflect on the journey. Positive emotions overwhelm me time and again and literally carry me through to the end of these four days of adventure and self-reflection. I’m at peace with myself; I’ve respected myself; I’ve done it. Fourteen months after hitting rock bottom, I’ve just walked 104 km in four days - I’m resilient!
Burnout is not a shameful illness.
Burnout is a syndrome that affects strong, motivated people who are fully committed, body and soul; people who, unfortunately, very often give more than they can actually give, who fail to heed their limits, their bodies and their hearts, and who literally lose sight of themselves in the pursuit of what they believe in. By taking part in this walk, I want to send a message of hope to those suffering from burnout and tell them that burnout can be overcome; that by listening to our hearts and our bodies, we can achieve, whilst respecting ourselves, things that might otherwise seem impossible.
Believe in yourselves, believe in love, believe that anything is possible, believe in resilience!
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